I had planned to post this on Friday but have been second guessing myself for a few days now. My dear friend Anna, who some of you have met when she shot beside me for multiple weddings, brought home a beautiful baby girl this past week. Watching her go through the process of adoption created so much happiness in my life and reminded me of the joy and turmoil that we went through adopting my son.
My beautiful boy is about to turn 9 next week. N-I-N-E. How does time go by so quickly!?!??!? I was having a very adult conversation with the boy the other day about how special he was because I CHOSE him to be my son. Something the other kids never had. We went on to chat a bit about his birth mother and I found myself getting more and more anxious. That talk brought up a good bit of angst for me. As an adoptive mom, I always am worried about the birth mom coming back and taking my son away from me. I know we signed papers where she gave up all rights to LM. I know that I’ve raised him since he was 9 months old and he knows no other life. BUT I have such fear that one day he’ll whip out the “you’re not my real mom” phrase or feel a gap in his life that is enough to send him on the search for a woman he never knew. It made me realize how overprotective I am of the boy compared to TLC & Peanut. I want to wrap him in a smothering blanket of “you are my son”-ness and not let the mean old world hurt him in any way. How blessed am I to have this handsome boy who has his daddy’s kind spirit and gentle heart?
Happy early birthday, my Little Man. You bring so much joy into my world. I am the lucky one.